Become a lake.

Hiii!!

Yesterday Sarah and I spent our first afternoon at Shishu Bhavan, a home for physically/mentally handicapped infants and toddlers. At the conclusion of the day both Sarah and I found ourselves completely drained. Emotionally and physically overwhelmed by the vivid suffering and despair of the children at ShiShu Bhavan. I figured I would share some stories from the afternoon.

The children at ShiShu Bhavan are mostly under three years old and are there for all kinds of reasons. They are typically found on the street or born from women at other MC homes like Shanti Dan or Prem Dan. We were warned when we first arrived by a long term volunteer that the site is particularly challenging because the children are visibly in serious pain, without the care they need. Unlike my experience at Daya Dan where the boys are always smiling and the happiest group of kids I have ever met, many of the children at ShiShu Bhavan have conditions where they will not live much longer. It was truly heartbreaking to see them in the state they were.

When we first got there we were asked to play with some children on a large foam mat and immediately realized how sick the children were. Sarah is an EMT, so she was able to recognize symptoms easier than I was. One of the babies we were playing with had one lung and could only breathe when positioned on its left side. If it wasn't for Sarah I wouldn't of known how to hold him! We watched him choke, cry and struggle to support his body. Another child, with Cabral Palsy that had already taken over the muscles in both his legs and one arm, with immense scaring all over his body, we found placed on his head unable to get himself up. One child had an extremely enlarged head and fever, was unable to move, and was unresponsive on the mat. We later found out many of the children don't make it longer than a week.

One of the most challenging parts of the afternoon was attempting to feed the children. They need nourishment so we had to force food down their throats. One of the children I was feeding had a seizure in his chair and I was asked to continue spooning food into his mouth as he regained consciousness. In India, infants are handled differently than in the United States, which was difficult to see. They are handled more aggressively, dragged, and hit. When you change them you don't wipe them and diapers are nothing but layers of tied cloth (the bottom layers are often left wet). They are not treated as if they are delicate, as if they are suffering. This is not only cultural but also due to the vast amount of infants they must care for. There were only five volunteers for all the children that are in need of individual attention. After we fed them, which was a struggle, they were put on the large mat as the Massis went around and gave them their medicine. They cried, choked, and screamed and the Massis grabbed their cheeks and forced medicine down their throats. All the children were given what looks like the same medicine and after a few minutes many seemed to be more comfortable if not sleeping. This really broke my heart because the infants that didn't find any peace from the medicine continued to suffer and the children that did were only given temporary relief. Some need serious medical attention and sedation is nothing but a short term fix. We changed them, played with them, and sang to the for the rest of the afternoon.

I had a really hard time emotionally working with infants and toddlers, mostly because they are so fragile and young. Their lives have literally just begun, and if they are strong enough to survive their quality of life will still be heartbreaking. Like everything else on this trip it really puts into perspective how fortunate we all are!

I wanted to end with a passage from "The Book of Awakening" by Mark Nepo. We used this in reflection a few days back and I thought you all might enjoy it to!

How Does It Taste?

The more spacious and larger our fundamental nature, the more bearable the pains in living.

-Wayne Muller

An aging Hindu master grew tired of his apprentice
complaining, and so, one morning, sent him for some salt. When the apprentice
returned, the master instructed the unhappy young man to put a handful of salt
in a glass of water and then to drink it.

"How does it taste?" the master asked. "Bitter," spit the apprentice.

The master chuckled and then asked the young man to take the same handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake, and once the apprentice swirled his handful of salt in the water, the old man said, "Now drink from the lake."

As the water dripped down the young man's chin the master
asked, "How does it taste?" "Fresh," remarked the apprentice. "Do you taste the
salt?" asked the master. "No," said the young man.

At this, the master sat beside this serious young man who so
reminded him of himself and took his hands, offering, "The pain of life is pure
salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the
same. But the amount of bitterness we taste depends on the container we put the
pain in. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do it to enlarge your
sense of things... Stop being a glass. Become a lake."

Love to you all, Caroline!

A Week to Remember

I'm gonna take the reigns as the first male blogger. Hope I don't let Joel, Dan and myself down.

These first six days have been absolutely breathtaking. It is truly difficult to put together this blog post with so many emotions and thoughts rushing through your head that cannot be fully expressed in words. Kolkata for me has been the epitome of sensory overload. Leaving the airport there was one smell, getting to Sudder Street another smell, walking to Mother House another, and the pattern continues with some smells being much better than others. Ultimately though, I know it is these memories of smells and scents that will always replay in the back of my mind after leaving Kolkata. In these six days I have explored the surrounding area, bartered with the locals, drank more chai than I could ever imagine, and have grown to learn a great deal about the city in only a short amount of time. What I have learned most is that Kolkata is a city that is overwhelming shrouded in a negative stereotype due to its high poverty. When one in the United States first thinks of Kolkata, images of Mother Teresa and the hungry and homeless are immediate thoughts. However, I have come to see in this last week the joys of this city, ones which I wish could be better reflected to the world. If you look beyond the poverty, or the harsh smells, or trash littering the streets, Kolkata is beautiful. Everything from the structures of buildings to the market designs fascinates me. The locals are so friendly, and are the first to approach you to carry on a conversation. At first, I felt these approaches came with monetary desires, yet I have now had countless individuals reach out to me simply to talk. Talk about my family, their families, my hobbies, their interests, and even giving me my fair share of Bengali lessons. This city is absolutely amazing and has so much to offer and I am privileged to have the opportunity to experience the beauty of Kolkata.

My service thus far has consisted of working the mornings at Daya Dan, and the afternoons at Kalighat. Daya Dan has been one of my first experiences working with children in a one on one setting. As it is a school for children with mental handicaps, I was intimidated at first, until I saw the smiles on these children's faces. I work with a 15 year old boy named Justice who provides me with endless laughs. He is an unbelievable singer and dancer and is so eager to learn. He won't stop until he gets a problem or assignment correct and with a little motivation, he can do anything. What sticks out for me most about not just Justice, but the children of Daya Dan in general, is they are so happy. They may become frustrated at times, but their smile is never ending. The are the most genuine children I have ever encountered and they will never pass judgment against you. For this reason, they do not deserve to be judged either. The boys have shown me their intellect, skills, hobbies, interests, and have welcomed me into their home with open arms and I will never be able to fully express my gratitude. It sounds cliche, but although I am their teacher, they are teaching me an awful lot more than I could ever teach them.

Kalighat brings an entirely different experience to the table. I have never in my life been so close to death, and it really puts things into perspective. I spent the majority of my afternoon today feeding an elderly man who is unable to move from his bed. I would run my hand over his forehead to offer any means of comfort as I could and it makes you feel so helpless. I stand before this man a healthy young individual and I cannot imagine the feelings this man is having. it is truly humbling to see an individual in a time of such need, and a time where they may not have much time left. Be thankful for what you have, for tomorrow is never a guarantee. The people of Kalighat know this, and many extend a helping hand to the others. It is beautiful to see the sense of camaraderie that many of these have amongst one another.

I am sure these next two weeks will fly by, but I look forward to continuing to embrace the experience. God Bless.

Synonym for Weird and Sounds like Pelican.

Hi!!
So first of all in case you haven't figured it out already India is HOT! Like extremely hot.
Anyway, now that I got that out of my system, I have to share some of the amazing things that we have discovered in this beautiful country. I think the only way to even possibly start to explain the vast difference between our little bubble in Colchester, VT and the streets of Kolkata is to talk about the head surgeries I have seen three days in a row!

Picture this:
Sue, Em, Alicia, me (sarah) all hanging out with some India women, a few Sisters, and a couple other volunteers from all over the world participating in a long line of laundry at Pram Dan. When we just happen to glance to our left: right inside the doorway, in the 100 degree weather, flys buzzing everywhere, and what do we see.....the sisters just casually stichingone of the woman's head back together. Now, if this was back in VT and I went to a rescue call with this I would be seriously worried about infection, bleeding control, etc. NOPE, in Kolkata this is just normal. We walked all around her carrying the laundry upstairs, she just looked at us and the sisters didn't even pause. About 20 minutes later she is just sitting in a plastic chair eating a banana. These people are amazing! Anyway, this surgery (to completly remove a portion of her skin (like a basketball size portion to revel the white skull below), and then daily to pick out the maggots that are just prospering in there is scheduled daily for laundry time.

Regardless, our time here is amazing! I can't speak for anyone else, but I am in love with the women are Prem Dan. They are just the sweetest ladies, and while what we do is not always pleasant( ie. Take the women to the bathroom which consists of a room where they do their business on the floor and then we sweep it to the hole by the wall, or have to feed them since they can't themselves) it is more rewarding than I could ever express. I can not wait to go back!

The streets of Kolkata are full of emotions. It is hard to walk anywhere without seeing something new, and often times devestating. But, then you see the good in people. The smiling, the kindness, and the giving that many people offer up as you are walking past makes it worth it. In the morning, at 7am, when we college students should be sleeping, we are instead sitting at the Mother House in Kolkata, India. We are drinking Chai, chatting with volunteers from all over the world, and excitedly waiting the prayer that will start our day at our houses. The compassion, love, and strength that people have shown us these past few days is amazing! Right now it is all about living in the moment, being where you feel you are suppose to be, and seeing what happens next!

Tomorrow....Brother Xavier's to meet everyone and Kayleigh's birthday!!

The same but different

Hey bondus (friends)!

Now it’s the third day since we have been here and everyone is slipping right into the crazy flow of the city. It is such an interesting thing to be back in Kolkata a second time and to see what is the same but also what is different. The shop keepers, people on the street (including the henna lady), Blue Sky jokes, Astoria Hotel, traffic, noise, smells and even the family outside of Shanti Dan are still the same. I was worried that it was going to be frustrating not to see progress from last year, but I was surprised at the many changes that have happened. First of all, as of last week West Bengal (the state that Kolkata is in) is no longer communist. After over 30 years, the TMC party unseated the CPM and the ever popular Mamata Banerjee is the new chief minister. At Mother Teresa’s, Kalighat is being renovated and Shanti Dan’s home for women is in a complete nice, new building. The addition that was just a foundation behind the Astoria is now a full concrete frame of a building. And for a little bit of gossip, Sam is no longer at Blue Sky. He left 50 days ago on vacation and never came back. Allegedly he is with a woman from France.

Being back at Shanti Dan has been wonderful, once Anne and I were able to get there. Shanti Dan is a home for women who are mentally ill, were abused or have experienced some sort of trauma that Anne and I volunteered at last year. Apparently the bus routes have changed and we were greeted with funny looks or laughs when we asked the bus drivers to take us to Topsia. The bus ride is usually 20 minutes and we had no idea how to hoof it from the Mother Huose to Shanti Dan so this morning we walked with the group from Prem Dan to their home and were easily able to figure out how to walk the rest of the way.

There is a definite change in the atmosphere of Shanti Dan. It is much friendlier and upbeat. They play music, dance, do stretching and drawing time and treat the women much nicer. Much of the volunteering at Shanti Dan is simply to be with the women and to give them loving attention. Today was a standard day there and I painted some nails, sang some songs, danced and fed some women lechi (a sweet Indian fruit). The most interesting part of my day was hearing the history behind why some of the women are there from one of the sisters. It all started when a woman was brought in on a stretcher by two massis. She couldn’t have weighed more than 80 pounds and was visibly shaken. I was curious where she was coming from and hwo they evaluate the state of the women and one of the sisters was kind enough to answer alllllllll of my questions. The new woman was taken off of the streets this morning near Howrah Train Station by the sisters and it is assumed she is HIV positive. She was coherent and talking but she had strangulation marks around her neck. The sister said that she was assaulted by some men and they dumped her at the train station. In talking with the sister it seemed as if most of the women were taken in from the stations. Many of the women’s families or even strangers will beat up women who are sick, disabled, mentally ill or otherwise unwanted, put them on a train with a one way ticket to Kolkata and then they are left with nothing to fend for themselves once they arrive. If the women were not already traumatized, then they certainly would be after that. Another woman, Alex (which is the name the sisters gave to her because no one knows her name), was found in the station with acid burns on her face and chest. Her bottom lip has now healed to her chin so that her mouth is always open and it is difficult for her to talk. She says she is married with two children but she ran away from her husband. The sisters were unable to find her family to reunite them but she is being transferred tomorrow to a home where more people speak her language (Tamil).

Once the women go through intake, the sisters try to find their families to see if they will take them back and care for them. In the case of Amkhi, her family in Bihar did take her back after she ran away. She is a 25 year old schizophrenic who was found living on the streets. She got pregnant and the sisters cared for her while she was off her medication during her pregnancy. No one knows who the father is. The pregnancy was healthy and the baby is now at Shishu Bhavan, a home for kids to be adopted. The sisters said that Amkhi did not want and could not care for the baby but if her family wants to care for the baby, they can have it. Otherwise the baby will be put up for adoption.

Even though it is an extreme disadvantage to be a woman in India, to be seen as an object or a second class citizen, there is some progress. Mamata is a woman and one of the most respected politicians in India and there are many organizations concerned with women’s welfare. Besides having to sit on the opposite sides of the bus and being subjected to quite obvious male stares, the women on the trip luckily don’t have the same struggles.

Today some people are at the final vow ceremony for many of the sisters while others are mastering the marketplace and hanging out on the street. We’re back at Mother Teresa’s tomorrow and will make our final decisions as to which houses we will be working at during our registration in the afternoon. And with the call to prayer, I must go!

Thank you so much for the birthday wishes! Indian birthdays are always ones to remember.

SENSORY OVERLOAD!

Namasgar! (Bengali Greeting)

Alicia here, writing my first post of the trip!

Here is the mission statement that we all came up with:

"Our mission is to be present, humble, and active in all aspects of our service, to remain consciously aware as we embrace everything, and to recognize the community support that we have received from our loved ones by bringing what we’ve learned back to the USA.

We will work to:

*bridge cultural division through service and compassion, while maintaining a respectful portrayal of North Americans.

*better understand our role in alleviating or easing the harshness of others realities

*learn about ourselves and the cultures of others by opening ourselves up to the unknown

*practice compassionate service in using our strengths to strengthen others

*share our experiences and learn from the experiences of others.”

Day two in India-SENSORY OVERLOAD.:

There is just so much going on: tastes, smells (good and bad..) sights, sounds….there is ALWAYS something going on in every part of every place at every second. People live their lives on the street here: they eat, sleep, and bathe. Picture this: a woman washing her laundry as a taxi flies by, nearly hitting a rickshaw driver. And then come a pack of about 40 goats, filling the road. On the sidewalk sits a cow, lazily chewing on grass, and across the street, a mother bathes her child; next to them hang raw chunks of meat. Next to the meat is a mini shrine, adorned with beautiful bright orange flowerings and offerings of rupees (Indian currency). There is NEVER a dull moment. I, like everyone else in the group, am feeling overwhelmed, but definitely in a good way.

Today was our first day of service-we started out the morning at the Mother House where we had chai and bananas, and mingled with the other volunteers for a bit. I can’t get enough of the chai! I’m already addicted. I think I’ve had about 7 cups today! We split up into a few groups after that, and headed to the separate homes, which are all branches of Mother Theresa’s home. The Mother House is sort of like a main base. I went to Prem Don today, and worked with women who are either/or mentally disabled, physically disabled, and diseased. I was struck by the incredible sense of humor that many of the women possess, especially considering the condition that they are in. The morning was filled with smiles and laughter, and lots of nail painting. Most of the women seem to prefer red, and many demanded that their toes be painted as well! It was extremely rewarding, but definitely challenging. Helping the women go to the bathroom was quite a task, but one that we all got used to after a while.

After a delicious lunch at the Blue Sky café where we eat every day, Sue and I spent the afternoon in the street getting to know the locals, and we were soon joined by the rest of the group. Our new friend, Aasa, offered to give us Henna tattoos, and we were quite excited about that! Sitting on the sidewalk as Aasa painted my palm with beautiful flowery designs, a man selling wooden flutes played a melody on one of his instruments, and Rashni, a sassy 14 year old, chatted us up about her own Henna skills. We were surrounded by Indian culture and loving every minute of it. I am already in love with India, and it’s only the second day! I can’t wait for all of the days to come; full of new friends (friend is Bondu in Bengali) cups of chai, and the kind-hearted people of India.

We will be blogging at least once a day for the next three weeks, so you’ll all always be up to date!

Namasgar,

Alicia and the rest of the group.